Are you blocking yourself from love?

All everyone wants is love. Someone to hold, someone to talk to and share your thoughts, fears and dreams with. Someone who accepts us exactly as we are.. Someone that loves us no matter what.

But if we don't love ourselves enough, we could never accept all of this from someone else. It doesn't need to be perfect and you don't need to live in complete harmony with yourself but you have to love yourself just enough to let someone els' love in.

I've never loved myself enough in the past. Even though I kept saying I wanted true love and someone who would accept me exactly for who I am; I realised that even if that person was right in front of me, giving me exactly what I wanted and needed, telling me I was perfect and that he would never leave me - I wouldn't be able to accept it. I wouldn't believe him for one bit. He could give me anything I longed for and everything I hoped for, everything I thought love would be; But I wouldn't be able to accept it, keep it or hold it because I didn't love myself enough to be able to believe someone else could.

My old convictions of not being good enough and my 100% convincement that one day I would be abandoned again, would win. And I wouldn't be able to look this love in front of me in the eye and see it for what it is. I wouldn't be able to see reality. I would only see my fears and convictions and it would color my whole experience and ruin what ever chance on love there is.

This was very clarifying for me and opened a lot of doors within me. I stopped looking for the right person and started to BE the right person. Was what I was expecting from someone else even what I could give myself or what I could give another person? surely not. how can I expect someone to completely accept me if I can't even accept myself..

What was even more baffling to me, was not only finding out that I and what I thought about myself was the problem, that I was blocking myself from love. I also found out and experienced first hand that there is a simple solution for all this. I didn't have to fight all old ideas about myself or work though all old pain and trauma within me before I could love myself. I didn't have to do this at all. The only thing i had to do to make my self love-beginning, was becoming willing to let go. Becoming willing to let go of all the ideas I had about myself, about life and about love. I had to be willing to let go of my old view and be open for a completely new view of life. This is surrender, the ultimate act of letting go. Because by letting go of your views and ideas, you also let go of the outcome you calculated for each relationship and this is how we always kept a false sense of control but by having this fixed idea based on fear, about everything, we ALWAYS create the outcome we fear the most.

So listen to this..

If you want someone to love you, love yourself first and love others first.

If you want someone to trust you, trust yourself first. and even better- be trust worthy first.

If you want someone to treat you right, treat yourself right - Treat others right.

the key for this is; become willing to do this. You don't have to be perfect or strive for perfection. You don't have to become a saint in one day. Just become willing to become the person you wish someone else to be. Become willing to let go of control and all the fixed ideas and fears you have about others and yourself.. You will experience fear and discomfort because growing does that to us but most of all you will experience true connection and vulnerability with the other person and that is where a shot at true love begins.

You deserve it!